Lucid

When we last spoke, I was getting ready for school and now it's October. Where does the time go?? Oh, how I wish I had the answer to that question. Here's what's been going on, though...


School started as planned, even without everything in place. Math, history, science, Korean, art, and sewing classes are just going swimmingly.  Still deciding on language. Yes, we'll do something - that's a no-brainer, but which curriculum is still undecided.

In mid-September, we packed up the family and went to stay with my 95 year old grandmother while my parents were out of town. I've gotta say, this is a great perk to home schooling - we can school when and where we like!  (I'm sure I've mentioned before that my grandmother lives with my parents and has since I was six months old and she needs some supervision now that she's getting older... I could link to the post, but [insert any excuse you'd like].)

This time, we stayed with Grandma for about a week and a half. We arrived there on a Thursday afternoon to visit with my parents, go over any last minute details (lawn care, trash collection, etc.) and get settled in. I didn't hear anything startling about what kind of behavior to expect from my grandmother.  One item had been emphasized, though: Be sure to check refrigerator doors, stove, and water faucets since sometimes she doesn't always close them or turn them off afterwards, respectively.


During our time there, we noticed a few moments of senility, like asking if My Dearest was joining us for lunch when he had already arrived, eaten, and left to go back to work. Or after he had arrived, eaten lunch, then stepped into and out of the bathroom asking when he was going to eat.  These moments weren't too often.

Though I did notice that she asked the same series of questions often: "What day is today? So if today is Tuesday, tomorrow is Wednesday, right? Then the day after will be Thursday?... What are we eating tonight?"  Each time, I answered patiently, as though it were the first time she asked.  Except once.  She asked about dinner and which 반찬 (side dishes) we were going to have and while trying to answer her, my sons were also asking questions so when my grandmother asked her series of questions again, I answered with a little snap in my voice, though I realized mid-answer and tried to recover my tone.  Of course, at that moment, she was extremely lucid and blandly replied, "You know I'm old, right? Sometimes I forget and need to ask again. Could you be patient with me?" I wanted to kick myself. It made me realize that she might be losing parts of her memory, but she was able to perceive attitudes and her judgement was still incredibly sharp.

Our visit ended with more senility than I was expecting. I was playing with my sons and nephews, so my sister could take a nap and my grandmother was watching us.  She pointed at my youngest son and asked me , "Whose child is that?" Then, she pointed at my youngest nephew and asked, "Is he yours or your sisters?" Then she asked if the house belonged to my parents or if it was mine.

Awhile after our time there, my sister called me and told me that she had had a Korean-language-lesson type of conversation with her relaying who her children were, who my children were, where she lived, where I lived, and other basic information about us.

I called my grandmother today and was bracing myself for my own Korean-language-lesson type of conversation - reminding myself to be patient with her. She answered the phone and was surprisingly lucid -- "How are the boys? How's Your Dearest's job? Is everyone healthy? What are you eating these days? I feel like such a burden to your parents, I wish I could do more to help out around the house. Your father is cooking these days!"

After my conversation with her, I talked with my dad and he said some days she is very lucid and other days she's very confused. Last week, she was asking where my siblings were and when were we coming home (like we were at school or at least, living with them). She didn't know that my sister and I were married with children of our own and that my brother is (still) single. Sometimes she doesn't recognize my mom or which country she's in. I guess it's the roller coaster of dementia, though I thought the decline would be more gradual, rather than all over the board. I'm grateful that our conversation today was lucid and I got to talk to her, but I know that each conversation might be a toss-up.